i'd lie
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I'll erase and erase love by emptying every drop from my heart.
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Sunday, May 23, 2010 @ 4:56 PM
Drunk On Sleep Recently, did not set alarm as I did not have a good sleep when sch starts. Due to doing tutorials late at night, or simply keeping myself awake until at least 1am everyday. Don't want to sleep early, as I want to live everyday to the fullest. But of course, I have troubles waking up in the morning, feeling tired and all. No matter how late I slept these days, be it 1am or 3am, I still wake up after 12pm. Causing my neck to ache badly. It is not because I am deprived of sleep, it is just simply because I did not want to wake up. Had been dreaming of a particular person ever since friday night. This had not happened before, because at most it will only last for a short moment once in a few months. However, this time round, it lasted for 2 whole nights. I did not dream about anything else but him. It may have felt good when I was asleep, or more like when I was in the midst of dreaming. It was pure bliss and happiness more than anything else. It made everything that I wished for happen. But, when I woke up, I felt empty, empty to the maximum. It was really bad, everything that happened disappeared in a split second, but bits and pieces of the dream lingered in my mind. It seemed so real, yet unrealistic. How I wished that I would never wake up, and stay in that dimension forever. Although it felt great in the process, but I rather it never happened. In reality, it will just torture me with tons of flashbacks, repeating again and again. I know that it will never happen in reality, but then it just kept appearing, adding more scars to my heart. No matter how hard I tried, I just can't erase it from my mind. Right now, I realised how hard it is to forget him. Although I would always say that I had long given up on him, the truth slapped me hard. I really missed him. Please, someone just save me from this agony. I am really getting tired from these pointless and foolish thoughts. If I tried harder, will it change the outcome? Because of you, I am really torn. If only you can understand and also return the feelings... However, I know that it is impossible, even in the future. One day, I want to shout out loud, that I am okay without you. |