I'll erase and erase love by emptying every drop from my heart.
i'd lie
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I'll erase and erase love by emptying every drop from my heart.
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Sunday, June 28, 2009 @ 2:44 PM
Pure bliss The long wait has paid off. The princess of Eric kor and Angeline sis is finally born! Congrats to them! Seen her picture via mms and one conclusion: She is very cute! Well, I bet they, my aunt and uncle and especially my grandma is very happy about this. Grandma is now promoted to great-grandma! Hahas. Kathy is also super happy, because she is now officially an aunty. =.= I would rather the baby call me sis than aunty =) A new life into this world, I hope that she will enjoy a wonderful life ahead. =D Yeah, another child to play with! Hmm.. But I don't know what I address her as. Cousin's daughter? Heh. I guess her name is not decided yet, we'll see. Can't describe my happiness though. I guess if I were to be a mother, giving birth to a new life would be an overwhelming experience. Hahas, perhaps I should wait for 10 more years or so ehh? But, good news always bring about bad news. School will reopen tomorrow, yet I am wasting my time blogging here. Homework still undone, revision not even there yet. I guess I can be ' genius ', because I don't know how I am going to sit for my prelims this coming wed onwards. Let's hope everything will go on smoothly yah. Just mug and mug and mug away my life. I am as happy as I can be=) Let's hope that studies can also blend in to be a happy event for me. Wednesday, June 24, 2009 @ 8:29 PM
Study, study and study Went to school today, intending to study at the school library. But guess what? I can't enter! The security guard says CCAs and all are canceled, no self-study in school at all and the library is used for what science academy stuff or so. I was totally shocked and upset. Fancy me taking my temperature and preparing to record. Lol. Yet another place to study is out. I guess now I have to try to wake up earlier to queue outside bishan library to 'fight' like an auntie to enter? Or should I spend money to study at Starbucks? Home is a definite NO, as I have wasted my time today yet again. There is only 4 days left. Did not want to face the fact that I have not even completed my homework, not to mention revision. Received a phone call for Ms Tan SL during lunch. She asked about travelling and stuff. " How's your revision going? Have you completed all the worksheets for Maths(A & E)? " " Oh, I am stucked at a few questions." " How are you going to do about it?" " Er.. I will look for Huiting to help me with it." I just lied. It is far more than being stuck at a few questions. It is more like I can only do a few questions, perhaps only less than half of the paper? My dear shifu, come help me! Wanted to collect the worksheets I left to photocopy at the shop today. Yet, the shop is not open! Telling me to collect it during evening is for fun eh? Spoilt my mood. Right now only one goal in mind: To COMPLETE my physics notes TODAY Perhaps I will try to complete all the SPA practices I have left. From now till the end of my life, nothing is ever about you already. It's just me, myself and I. Perhaps also a few others. But NOT you. It's just so great to let go. Should I thank you for that relief? Friday, June 19, 2009 @ 12:04 PM
Catching up 17/06 Wed Played basketball with Yu Cheong and Zi Hui before the bbq. It was great, as it was a long time since I got to play. Afterwards went to grocery shopping for equipments and food... 4E2 class bbq was rather alright. There are some parts where almost everyone participated in the games, however it was for a short while only. I guess we are still bonded in our cliques, not as a class. I hope it will change for the better though, since it is our last year tgt already. Had a bad appetite, only ate a satay and hotdog. But, it was still worthwhile to spend that sum of money, 'buying' happiness. Yeah, it was hard to stay unhappy with this class. With people like Hui Ting and Peiyu, always joking around and letting me to forget everything else. The games we played are rather silly, but it still worked=) Night time was just some k-box live session, with Jialing, Siew Ming, Ying ting, Pei Yu and Hui ting. Hin Ye and Kelly just remained as the audience. It was a crazy moment. However, good things always come to an end. Looking into the dark sky filled with stars was not to be missed. Just sitting on the beach, feeling the strong wind as the waves crashed onto the shore and plugging into music is perfect already. Don't need to mention any other stuff. At 11pm, left east coast park. Felt really fortunate to have my brothers to travel there to fetch me, allowing me to stay late and have time to myself=) 18/06 Thur It was another slacking day. Did none of the homework, yet again. All motivation is gone. Watched 'Sky of Love' (2007) in the afternoon. Finally found the link to watch it online! It was a super duper movie not to be missed! But it is a must to prepare a box of tissue beside you. It just shows how great and long-lasting a relationship can be, and also how important family and friendship is. Watched 'Drag Me To Hell' at night. It was rather scary, the sound effects claimed the credit. The ending was sad, but predicted. Overall, some of the scenes were really disgusting and this movie will make you jump in your seat. ' If ending a relationship is this painful, then I don't want to fall in love again. ' - Mika (Sky of Love) Tuesday, June 16, 2009 @ 12:59 AM
Wide awake Alright, it was all my wishful thinking. There was nothing of that sort. It's okay, I am totally fine now, focusing on studying. Going to study tmr at Bishan Library alone. =/ Really thanks loads to Yu cheong for his company. His words did ring a bell in my head. Everything else made sense. It's time I pulled myself out of the whirlpool of thoughts. That's not my priority now, remember? Thank you polar bear=) Now is time for Biology SPA skill 3 practice.. Let's be friends only alright? My dear heart, just accept reality and give up. There's no need to give up the whole Antartic for that one animal. Yup, it's a new beginning once again. =)) Monday, June 15, 2009 @ 11:25 PM
Foolishness I hated myself so much! I destroyed my happiness with my own hands. Why must things always turn out this way? Is this called fate? Or is it pure coincidence? Did I really made the right choice? To decline the offer. I feel so helpless right now.. Can I take back my words, or just tell you right now that I can make it? Stupid stupid stupid shihui! Why can't you just be smart for once? Wednesday is just such a popular day. Why can't I have 72 hrs for Wednesday? To study, watch movie then bbq? Or why can't others fall on other days? Argh! My tears are on the verge of falling. I just can't think straight right now. 10.56pm was the opportune time, I did not missed it, I chose to reject it. My happiness just slipped out of my hands. It disappeared into thin air, never to return again. "We will see then." The "Another day" I mentioned will come, I hope. Felt so wasted. @ 4:07 PM
Whirlpool of thoughts I am officially a spendthrift! Spent over hundreds of dollars on shopping and eating =/ But, perhaps it is the last time I am shopping? Because I don't think there is any reason for me to shop anymore, but study. Bought a external hard disk at IT Fair, another source to drain my money. Motivated as I am, i just still cannot focus nor resist temptations. My laptop still on as usual, browsing through facebook as usual. I was super tired when I woke up at 8.30am, just cannot get used to sleeping 6-7hrs. My schedule was not followed closely too, because I just cannot think through the Amaths questions in the morning somehow, so just dragged. Now supposed to be nap time, because I can't think well at this time of the day, but I still stayed awake. I wonder how will I get my energy to continue studying till midnight. So far only completed the Emath paper(with a few blanks), Physics elearning and SS essay. I am afraid to be unable to complete my homework, not to mention revision for prelims. Strategise! Have to think and think of more solutions. Way to go! Yesterday was the turning point. Those words unspoken will be buried forever. Now studies is my priority, not you anymore. Happy 16th though. Friday, June 12, 2009 @ 9:40 PM
Process Now all SPA Skill 1 & 2 are over, yet Skill 3 is still coming. Physics and Biology focusing on it, whole day keep on planning for experiments, how fun. Rather motivated a few days ago, but I was wondering, 'Why suffer so much?' Yeah, the answer is same for everyone. To get a good grade for O levels, then go straight to JC/Poly, to proceed to uni get degree and finally get your desired jobs. And that obviously applied to me too. Today slacked for the whole day, not even touching my hw! This won't work, so I am switching off my laptop at 11pm. Self control... Moreover, tomorrow is a busy day shopping, talking and eating sushi, so all the more is hardworking day today! Troubled Huiting to travel to my house today, because I left her Chem WB answers at home. So sorry... But we chatted, and realised we had a lot in common! =) Yeah, it feels good to let things out of my mouth. Monday, June 8, 2009 @ 8:53 PM
Broken smile It's been a week since the June holidays started. Lessons had been going on as usual and it soon became a habit. Waking up at 6.30, wash up and off to school. Nothing matters, except for the bag load, it gets heavier and heavier. Or perhaps it's because my heart is heavy. I don't know. Walked to the bustop today with Yu Cheong. Felt a lot better with his company somehow, perhaps because there is nothing I need to hide. He has been a great friend, always being there when i need someone. I would try to do otherwise too=) Well, hard times passed with his help. But i guess there are still many hard times that have yet to pass, so he don't have time to rest. Haha. A big thanks to him! Well, I see it as a blessing to have so many friends that care about me, so I hope that it will stay on like this for as long as possible. Anyway, what I know is just that June is fully booked for studying, except for the weekends to chill out. It's time to prioritise, since my results was not good all along. But at least I still have my dear Jiejie to study with me, a kind of consolation. It's been hard on her yah, because I just could not keep still and tried to irritate her. But I will change=) Her maths exam is today, was bad according to her, but she surely can do it one! Good luck for her Econs paper tmr! =D Bought a file at $18.55 just to put my stuff! A large sum of money, but i hope it will not come to waste. Just like what Jiejie said, "It will all pass very fast, just 5 months more, just persevere! Afterwards you can enjoy all you want." True though, but I don't know how long my motivation can last. For 5 more months hopefully! Now just looking forward to the sushi feast on sat, as a kind of stress relief. There's a Ngee Ann Poly 'course trial' for a day, hope I can get someone there with me=) Why must I always witness the scenes I hated? It's alright, what I have to do is simply give up. Cheers to all who have your heart broken, welcome to the state where nothing can mend it ever again, unless someone does. Can I have this person earlier? So there won't be so much heartache. Thursday, June 4, 2009 @ 6:05 PM
二缺一 It has been a week since i last blogged. Bio and Chem SPA are finally over, left Physics to go. Both were screwed up here and there, but can pass i guess. Too many ups and downs nowadays, wondering if i am really going mad. Am I putting up a brave front to be happy? All the emotions are already driving me into a corner, don't even feel like studying. But at times, it's pretty good to keep yourself occupied with studies. In love with many new chinese songs now, they express my feelings best. Learnt a few new english phrases to describe emotions. I think they are really handy yah. But seriously, I can feel tears welling up now... May your grandma be happy in heaven, watching you over always. It's really heart wrenching to see you being so gloomy. Although it's just a short reply, it means more than anything else. It's time to say goodbye though, i will try to turn away. |