I'll erase and erase love by emptying every drop from my heart.
i'd lie
|
|
I'll erase and erase love by emptying every drop from my heart.
|
Friday, March 27, 2009 @ 5:37 PM
Spiritless Feeling so bored right now. Don't feel like doing homework, watch tv or sleep. Just lazy to do anything at all, so just came to update a bit. Got back results today. Already knew about the marks already, so it is not much of a surprise. Don't even feel like taking a glance at the result slip at all, it was a huge disappointment this year. English: B4 Higher Chinese: A2 Amaths: A1 Emaths: B3 Biology: B4 Chemistry: C6 Physics : D7 SS/History: A2 Subject standard(2008-9) - Maintained: Amath Improved: HCL, SS/Hist, Bio Worsened: EL, Emath, Chemistry, Physics Emath and Chemistry was really disappointing. Chem was one of the subjects i excel in last year, yet now, its my 2nd last subject. Emaths was to be blamed on me. I was too complacent, thinking that theres no need for revising for the tests as I can do the usual assignments, but I was totally wrong. Physics, although I really paid attention and understood what Mrs Ngiam was teaching, I still did not do well. Maybe my common sense is really bad and I do not know how to apply formulas. English, sad to say, I did very badly for the first test as I had totally no inspiration for the eassy at all. So just picked a topic and crapped about it. Luckily Ms Wong still let me pass. Pretty proud that I have 'broken the ice' and got a B for the first time. Got really sick of seeing the Cs and Ds last year. But, I am still not doing well enough, as others all got As. But, its still a source of motivation and gives me a sense of achievement. I am now determined to study hard! After amaths ssp just now, went to take a look at NP training, to see how the sec 3s are doing, since I had nothing much to do anyway. Realised that they were doing fine and don't need my presence, so I left after 3 mins. The weather being so stuffy and having nothing to do, decided to go to Bishan Library to study. But as i expected, it was filled with a whole lot of students, and had no empty tables and chairs for studying, again. So went home to rest. Have quite a huge pile of homework this weekend, and also have to study for the upcoming emaths test on monday - Matrices - a chapter which I don't really enjoy studying. Because I think its rather lame and useless. Somemore, tomorrow will be wasted on a uninteresting event, HRC ( High Ropes Challenge). Really don't feel like going, as I don't want to go to Pulau Ubin yet again, or even to use the outdoor facilities there. Missed a day for shopping again due to school stuff. =.= Rarely a break from studies, yet now my day for enjoyment is taken away. Leaving me with only one day to complete my homework! Arrrggh! Which means I have to start doing tonight or I cannot complete them. So wonderful indeed. Thursday, March 26, 2009 @ 10:07 PM
The Unexpected. It was only this morning when i heard about the news. As her best friend, it took me a day to realise that something real bad had happened in her life. If she were to be reading this post, I would just like to say: yanling, I am so sorry for not being there for you when you needed someone by your side the most. When I heard about her grandpa's death I was totally shocked. Before angela told me the reason for her not coming to school today, I thought that she was sick, and I was still thinking why she did not sms me to tell me about it. Knowing the truth, there was no need for her to inform me at all, because I bet she is really depressed, not to mention having the mood to even inform me of anything. I was seriously guilty, that I did not even text her to console her or anything like that, and I am also considered the last few who knew about her situation. What a great friend I am indeed. This led me to thinking about what we had learnt and experienced during the motivational camp. To imagine losing our loved ones and crying over spilt milk. In life, there is really no way back and choices do have consequences. Once you lose it, you can't get it back anymore. Never. No matter how much regret you may have. However, life must still move on. Even if there is no reason for living. Yanling: Stay strong and quickly get back on your feet. You know that time will not turn back, so do not think back about the past and remind yourself of all the bad memories. Memories are supposed to be precious and buried in your heart, to be recalled as wonderful memories of the happy moments you have shared with that special someone. So please do not cry over it. Regrets are too late now, but I bet your grandpa certainly won't blame you for the silly things you had done, as he surely understood you very well to know that you didn't mean to hurt him. He will watch over you, so if you have him in your heart, you will still feel his presence and he will be protecting you always. So do let him be at ease in heaven, not having to worry about you anymore. May your grandpa rest in peace for the angels shall lead him along the stairway to heaven. Lastly, i would be there for you if you need me. Tuesday, March 17, 2009 @ 4:54 PM
motivated! Motivational camp is over. Enjoyed the camp totally, especially when the lessons were conducted by gary and melvin, super funny! =) But there are sad parts though. Not exactly sad, but it just let us understand the realistic truth of life and taught us the most important value in life, "Treasure your loved ones when they are still around, don't regret only when you have lost them." It really made me think deeply and did make some changes into my life. I have realised how important my family were to me, especially my parents. It is a fact that they will be the only ones who will always be by your side, never leaving you alone. I am really sorry for the things I had done that have hurt them, hence I will try to use the rest of my life to repay everything that they had done for me. Since I have no goals in life, its advisable for me to enrol into JC, and thats what i will do. Unless I found my goal. However, as gary said, culture of the schools are very important, so I really must work hard to get good scores so that i can at least choose which JC to go to. So, the first step to take is to organise the days I had before the 'O's to prepare myself. And right now, what I can do is to complete my holiday homework! Off I go to complete them then. =D |