Friday, September 25, 2009 @ 10:21 PM
Choices
Sometimes I wonder, do we really have choices in life?
We do have I guess, perhaps it is just that I think of things in a complicated way. Today the career talk was rather informative. However, at the same time, it made me much more undecisive. First, it was AJC. It was one of my goals back then, when I was really determined to go into JC. Yeah, the feeling came back again, where I just had the urge and felt happy by just imagining myself there. But, the big problem to me is of course GP. I am worried that I would just score really badly in it and waste 2 years of my life then. However, many people are saying that it applies to everyone, so I should not worry about it. The other talks on JCs were more or less similar. Then came SP and NP. Too bad I am still unsure of my goals, or else everything would have been much simpler. I am always comparing to a huge extent, where many people do not think the same way. 3 things I consider: Will I be earning a high salary? Will it ensure that I have many choices for my career in future if I were to get bored or something? Is it beneficial to me in future?
The answer is actually up to myself. Some say that passion is much more important than money. I am not sure about myself. I just tend to think so far ahead that makes me hesistant in decision-making now. Why don't I have a dream now?! =( Psychology is rather alright, but I still have some reservations about it.
United World College(UWC) also came down for a talk. It was damn tempting. Seriously. It just provides the kind of environment and life that I think I would be enjoying so much more. Imagine studying in Italy, Norway or even USA... I would love that kind of life, however can I really be independent? The first thing that came across my mind was my family somehow. 'Can I really bear to leave my parents in Singapore and live overseas alone?' Then many more came along. 'Are the expenses too much than what I can actually afford?' 'Will I be able to adapt to the new surroundings, doing everything independently and not having any friends by my side, to support me whenever I need them?' 'Is this really the kind of life I want?' Hmm, I don't know the answers myself. As much as I know I have to sacrifice IF I were to be selected, I would say I don't mind. As in, this is a great opportunity to me, to be exposed to people from all walks of life and a whole new experience of life altogether. However, it is really tough to be selected, DUH. 3 rounds of interviews is bad enough. Just talked to Dad about considering to submit my application after they sent it to me. And it seems like he isn't against it. But, who knows? Maybe he won't bear to let me go afterall, when I am selected. Haha. I mean, who will bear to let their youngest child and only daughter to go study overseas when she is just 16 and immature? Lol.
Anyway, it is actually a dream that is realistic, but somehow too far to reach. Yup, so I think perhaps I may just send the application and then see how it goes. Then also back to thinking about local institutions, much more achievable and realistic. Haix. 'O' levels is coming at a fast pace and I am sooo unprepared. LOL. Stressed? Of course. Not coming within myself, but due to external factors.
Anyway, was actually damn pissed off because of the TP grouping. Its like no Yanling, no my e2 clique! The bus journey was quiet for me. Lol. No mood to be high. Luckily, Yanling being her clever self, managed to get into my group! Yeah man, or else I would have been bored to death! =D The trip was rather alright for the part on social-science and psychology though=) Afterwards was window shopping and dinner around Tampines and a super long but enjoyable bus ride home! =DD
Well, perhaps it is good if my parents were to set a goal for me, so at least I have a target and motivation. But, they do not try to force me to do achieve anything, as in go into any specific course or whatever. They allow me to choose it myself. Good or bad? I don't know.
All I know is that now is mugging business and I am spending far too much time in front of the computer and I am still aimless. Yeah, now is free time until 11.30pm, where it is bathe and Physics again.
Ohh yah, SS501 is now on Teens and Teenage for the October Issue! Like the first time they appear in a local magazine I guess? Haha. Rather happy=)
Bought Teenage, because there is DBSK's poster! Yippee! Haha. But like a bit disappointed because SS501 was featured but the details they provided were more or else seen on websites already. Moreover, despite being featured, the poster for the magazine is not theirs =( Nevermind, at least I still have DBSK's in exchange =D
Fighting~!
Thursday, September 24, 2009 @ 5:15 PM
Love bye love
Xiah Junsu damn cute! xD
Too bad DBSK not coming to Singapore for concert=(
Hmm, hopefully the contract problems all that will be solved and DBSK will still be together!
Then like that can continue to see Junsu in action. Haha.
His voice is really special and his laughter is soo cute!
Heh heh, boy fever again.
But at least I think that being crazy about Korean singers are better than being secretly in love with any other guys in reality. I mean, it hurts a lot more right. The more you think or hope, the more disappointed and hurt you will get. So, I would rather choose my oppas over anyone else. Although as much as I would like to be engaged in a relationship or whatsoever, now is not the time I guess. Moreover, I decided to leave it to fate, since I gave up suffering alone already, because it is pointless. No matter how much time and effort I put it, everything always backfired and come to a bad end. Therefore, I would rather devote all my love in supporting my oppas in their career, so as to see and also hear more of them. =D Now is many people are really into Korean stuff lor, and I TOTALLY support that! Yeah,
SS501, DBSK, 2PM, SHINee, Ft Island, Suju, SNSD, Brown eyed girls, 4minute, T-ara, f(x), Big Bang, FIGHTING~! =DDAnyway, today received the news that we had to RETAKE SS paper again.
Haix, was rather sad, but have to face it eventually.
It can be considered a revision for 'O' Levels too, so be it then.
Now to 'O's, jsut felt soo stressed out of the sudden. There is not a day where this big letter never appears in my life. LOL. What to do... Have to start chiong-ing business again.
After 'O's is a thing that I am looking forward to. There are soo many plans to be fulfilled!
1) SHOPPING, SHOPPING, SHOPPING 2) BUY Body and Facial products (time to pamper after mugging) 3) Get a job! 4) SS501 CONCERT4) Kbox 5) WATCH SS501, DBSK, SUJU & many other videos! 6) Yoga lessons? Yup, and many others down the list that I can't think of now.
Ohh yah, heard from Yanling that there maybe grouping tomorrow for the TP visit, and it seems like I will be lonely without her or even my clique tomorrow =( So make it a Free-and-easy thing alright teachers? =D Students sure will appreciate it as we want to enjoy ourselves there. Anyway, tomorrow would be career talks all day long, NO lessons! Good and bad larh huh.
Shall go mug Physics already, although I have given up on myself.
Hope that I can at least improve and achieve a B4 at 'O's.
Junsu oppa fighting! Saranghae<33
Wednesday, September 23, 2009 @ 1:18 PM
Hopeful If only the 'O' levels will pass by quickly.
Although I am still unprepared, I still pray for that.
All this waiting only makes me more frustrated and want to give up.
Now, it is only bear for 1 month or everything will be wasted.
Just downloaded a lot more Youtube videos, including 2PM and T-ara's songs.
And also DBSK's songs =) Too bad don't have SS501...
T-ara and Supernova had a new song, Time To Love.
Very catchy, is rather sad but nice=)
@ 10:38 AM
Lost Don't know why, but somehow I have lost my sense of direction. Everything just don't seem right.
Gave up on Physics, just did not have the motivation to study.
Yeah, I shall get the lowest again.
Cool. Haix. Things just aren't going smoothly.
It is the 2nd day ever since I sprained my neck.
Feeling alot better already. Seriously, I think I don't ever want to crack my neck again. It was fine like for so many years? But on Mon it just wasn't fine.
Woke up at 11 am, sat up and 'cracked' my neck as usual.
But there was a damn sharp pain and 3 consecutive cracking sounds heard.
I was super shocked and in continuous pain. Walked to my parent's room toilet to brush teeth. I was just holding my toothbrush on one hand and the toothpaste on another. I don't know how the hell I saw like double image? I was frightened and knew that something was really wrong. The next thing I knew was that I saw bright light, walked a few steps forward and blacked out. When I gained conciousness, my neck was more painful than before, my head was on the ground, with a bump on my forehead and I was really weak. I just can't call out for help and tried to crawl up slowly. I don't even know how long I blacked out for. Dragged myself to the dining table and ate my carrot cake with my head propped up with my left hand. Mum realised something was wrong and asked. All I said was that I think I sprained my neck. LOL.
" Ger ah, 你刚才是不是在厕所里弄掉了东西?"
" 有, 我 lor."
Then after that my parents were all worried and Dad brought me to the Chinese Physician downstairs. Woah, he really make until my neck super pain but felt a little better only leh. Cost $40 somemore! Haix. I really damn lucky. Seems as if I am writing a narrative right? LOL.
Yesterday morning Kor was good enough to send me to school.
While I was wearing my shoes, he carried my bag, opened the door and stood there waiting for me. I was really shocked that he actually took the initiative to carry my bag, although I can handle it. He even used the $20 coupon (for OPC) so as to be able to drive the car around for the whole day, but partly also because he wanted to send me to another Chinese Physician at Tiong Bahru. Yup, was really grateful to him. =)
Yeah, felt alot of care and concern from my family because of this.
However, it would be not worth the pain to get this kind of love right?
As in, normally they just don't show it.
Anyway, hope that I can recover real soon and concentrate on studies again. ^^
Maybe for a start-off, I should blog less often =.=
Friday, September 18, 2009 @ 7:58 PM
Contented Life has been rather fruitful now I guess.
I don't know why, but somehow I can feel that at least I am happy everyday.
Yeah, it's a great thing, because this makes life much more meaningful.
Although studies is not a fun or enjoyable thing, you at least feel a little sense of achievement when you finally understand a particular chapter or so. Well, currently trying to put in my best for Chem, because I started to find it interesting and study-able. Most of the Prelim papers are over already. All I can say is that as long as I work hard, there is no need for regrets. Well, sad to say, I failed to prepare myself well for some subjects. But nevermind, must stay positive and put in more effort.
Anyway, today went to JooHou's house to relax after Chem paper 1.
Yesterday was considering to study alone at SCC today right after the paper.
But like crap can, because this morning I knew that I won't be able to focus, because I am really tired, so it is pointless even if I go. Well, turned out to be fun! There is much entertainment and all. Yup, there are like many people? Joo Hou, Yu Cheong, Zi Hui, Erlin, Jun Ying, Kaymond, Sheng Hong, Ivan, Chin How and me. Wii was super duper fun! It's really funny watching at how the guys overreacted when they were playing. Haha. Also, Mahjong! Woah, it's like a long long time since I play. Also brought along kor's psp, because initially I was afraid I would be bored. Haha, but it was great=)
Felt as if 'O' levels is already over and we were in the midst of celebration. LOL.
IF only. Haha. But soon it will be over in like 2 months? I don't know exactly how many days because I am afraid to count.
Shall download more songs and update my mp3!
Or else I will get bored~
SCC tomorrow again =)
But it is gonna be the KILLER, PHYSICS.
Oh my, please let me stay awake and at least finish reading through the whole textbook tomorrow.
Thursday, September 10, 2009 @ 9:43 PM
Heartbroken Aww~! Hyun Joong Oppa was diagnosed with H1N1 on 8 Sep 2009 and his condition is pretty serious!
Luckily, now he is recovering very quickly. However, heard that he will have to be hospitalized for half a month.
Hopefully this won't affect the Asian tour much. =( Moreover, the members of SS501 will replace him to attend some events and performance on stage. Should have chance to watch them all perform de, but now only have HyungJoon, Yongsaeng and Kyujong performing 'U R Man' & 'Because I'm Stupid'.
Luckily Yanling told me just now, if not I would still be kept in the dark.
LOL! Didn't expect this as around the mid of last week I just browsed through the Ssangchu blog and this has not occured yet.
Well, considering JaeBeom of 2PM also left because of some idiotic netizen, this is a bad bad month.
Jay come back soon alright!
Oppa, get well soon!
Saranghae! <3
@ 6:59 PM
Dazed Just came back from SCC awhile ago and is enjoying my dinner(Mixed Rice) while typing.
The rice is sooo disgusting, hard and everything, should be left from afternoon till now.
The side dishes are very delicious, but the auntie super 'ngeow', the amount she scoop is like can count one larh. 5 small round pieces of tofu, 6 pieces of sweet and sour pork dice and 7 slices of potato.
Wow, you really did your maths huh? =.= You should have taken a break and let the kind uncle serve me. =/
Reached SCC at around 9.45am, was afraid that there will be limited spaces, but to my surprise, there is only 3 people inside, including Fel =). The same batch of people from yesterday came, except Corrine. Perhaps she has something on or needed a break. Dear Yanling overslept and did not come as a result. Haha, sleepyhead! =P
Only managed to revise like Chap 2 of Am Tb? I don't know why i spent 3/4 of my time there doing this... Perhaps I really is slow at Am and suck at Indices, Surds and Log. Ohh yah! I saw Shengxun when I was about to go to the study room. Judging by his attire, he should be going to the gym. I was rather shocked when he said 'Hello.' LOL!
I understand why I am getting fat now. Because, out of the 8 hrs I am there, I kept eating. It's either Van Houten Assorted choc, Prawn Cracker or Fisherman's Friend(Cherry). Luckily FF is sugar-free! =D
Plus, I managed to have some of those snacks left to give to my dear brother and make him fat too! Wahaha.
OKAY I am so damn irritated by Facebook. Since I signed in for less than 10mins in MSN, the stupid mail notification keeps popping up and making the stupid noise. Just checked mail and guess what? There are 12 emails in less than 10 mins! =.=
Anyway, neck is aching badly. Shall quickly eat my dinner, bathe, chiong am and sleep!
Tomorrow is yet another SCC day =))
IE8 can't open Hotmail, Mozilla having problems with Facebook and Blogger having loads of problems.
What is happening to the technology now huh?
Safari is also loading slowly for certain websites. Can anyone tell me what Internet browser I have to use now? =.=
Wednesday, September 9, 2009 @ 9:11 PM
I'm waiting for you Guess what I was waiting for today?
An empty space at SCC. LOL!
Waited alone at the busstop for 45 mins.
Saw Yiwei alighted the bus, but she walked very fast so did not manage to get my butt off the chair to call her.
Yup, I was 3rd while Yiwei is 5th on the waiting list.
Afterwards Corrine called me to go in to entertain me. Haha.
It's like a mini Zhss sec 4 gathering lor!
There is Corrine, Yiwei, Boon Kiat, Ke Ying, Fel and me!
Chatted for awhile near the stairs there. Then I waited for a total of nearly 2hr then got people 舍得 leave lor. Awhile later Yiwei also got her seat.
Was revising Chem calculation then gave up.
Wanted to start on Organic Chem but got some stupid idiots keep making soo much noises. Damn irritating larh. Sit opp. me somemore, keep banging the table. Wth. Damn pek cek larh, really felt like crushing my paper then throw 1 at them, then I act like nothing happen. But obviously I did not. LOL. Really can't stand them, JC student still soo immature. Argh! Just because my mp3 is low-batt can't listen to songs then have to bear with this kind of shit. =(
Shall go earlier tomorrow, so as to not suffer the same fate as today. =)
Jaebeom, stay strong and come back soon okay! 2pm needs their leader. All the HOTTEST support you! =D
Monday, September 7, 2009 @ 12:29 PM
Araso In the midst of packing, I shall make a mini schedule for today.
1) Pack files
2) Complete Stalin ws
3) Find songs, transfer
4) Use com
5) SLEEP!
LOL. Although its little, but I bet I will be damn tired after packing, judging by the piles I have in my room. All I can say is to go step by step.
FIGHTING~!
@ 11:57 AM
Speechless Haix, study session ruined AGAIN.
Can't find many notes and worksheets.
So today = Sort out files day. =(
I wasted my weekend, now i waste the first day of the holiday.
I seriously hope that this holiday will be different from others, whereby I can really concentrate on studying everyday.
History and em ssp tomorrow. Don't feel like going =/
Hope I can wake up tomorrow...
Sunday, September 6, 2009 @ 11:02 PM
Emptiness Somehow it seems like I lost all my determination to study AGAIN.
Siann. Actually planned to pack all my worksheet and notes.
But instead, spent the whole day in front of the computer.
Tomorrow is Mon already.
Seriously have to drag myself to study at SCC, if not I would really lose my momentum and stop studying totally.
Don't know why but all the emptiness came back.
Suddenly felt so lifeless and loveless.
It has been a long time ever since these feelings appeared.
Plus I am getting fatter too.
Can't help but feel even more depressed than I already am.
Please, just go away. I don't want to experience all these ever again. Somebody please knock some sense into my head.
Saturday, September 5, 2009 @ 2:46 PM
BlessingsNow then I realised that Hyun Joong, Jae Joong and Seung Hyun are good friends.
Yeah!
@ 10:41 AM
PIG Argh,did not go to CC to study.
Woke up at 8.50am, brushed teeth but went back to sleep again =.=
Just woke up again 10 mins ago. Decided not to go, since I have no feel even if I go there also can't study one.
Maybe I shall pack my room and arrange my files all that.
Had been wasting quite awhile to look for Bio notes all that, so it's better to improve on it.
Family later maybe going to Army Open House. Haven't decided whether I want to go or not.
See my mood bah =)
Okay, the renovation works upstairs is super irritating!
Alright, so now SS501, Ft Island, 2pm, SHINee, Big Bang, DBSK, other Korean bands and the artists on my iTunes playlist is soo gonna flood these idiots!
Friday, September 4, 2009 @ 11:29 PM
Hot IssuePrelims started, all I can say is to work harder and harder during the 1 wk break.
Yup, today went for lunch at Kovan Pizza Hut with Ivan, Huafei, Hongren, Yanling and Ruiying.
Pretty enjoyable, guys are jokers as usual. Hahas.
Had like 6 hrs to spend before I had to return to Zhss for NP POP dinner.
So the girls then went to the Central at Clarke Quay to walk walk.
Nothing much though, wanted to buy Chip keychain but was too ex. $8 =.=
Then went back to school at about 4.30pm.
Managed to only sleep for 15 min in class till 5.45, because it was rather stuffy and uncomfortable to lie on the table and sleep in class. Somehow, my dear squadmates one by one gathered in 4e2. There is a special connection between us though, never leaving anyone alone. =) Was rather sad that we did not have full attendance.
Anyway, the bunch of sec 3s were very adorable. Really grateful for their efforts in preparing Faris and I a present. However, the 'Motherly' award I was presented made me feel so old! Haha. Just suddenly had the thought that I should treasure everything I am given from now on, cards, presents all that, so I can have something to share with my husband regarding my teenage years.. Heh.
Started to lose faith in bejeweled.. Haha. Cannot obtain high score so disppointed and want to give up already.
Anyway, I am glad that Yucheong sort out his thinkings and found his feel in studies liao. Jiayou bah!
I think I shall go study alone at the Serangoon CC tomorrow bah, no feel do other stuff. Ohh yah, I forgot to return my books today! Must return if not have to pay money to the library.. So wasted!
Oh! Just now went to 4e2 class blog and realised that Erlin the superweed has uploaded the bbq pictures. Realised that actually the sky that day is beautiful! =) Yeah, had quite a long time laughing over some of the silly pictures. Moreover, I realised I have been chatting to Superweed just about the clouds and the skies for a few occasions already. Well, I guess we do have something in common despite not knowing each other very well. Great improvement=)
I shall go browse blog, you-tube and sleep. Byebye=)